The Not-So Ethical Slut – Karen Owens

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hahYUHkw9KY?fs=1]

First of all I am completely against the fact that she published names and pictures of these guys.  The content of her thesis is just as valid without them.  All I see that as accomplishing is embarrassing and possibly causing harm to the young men she names.  I believe most of them agreed to this, but still, with a longer range point of view its extremely upsetting that their personal information is tied to her report.  Ah the mistakes of youth.  None-the-less I’m glad this video exists and that more and more people are seeing it.

I think what she has put together is absolute genius.

Owens is being attacked for being out of touch with her own emotions because she claims to not be upset by her behaviors and believes that casual sex is just that: casual.  Why is it so impossible to believe that a woman is capable of exactly what men have done for hundreds/thousands of years?  I haven’t found such harsh criticisms of the men involved in this for taking the casual experience at face value.  However, because Owens has a uterus it seems to be universally believed that she cannot possibly find physical satisfaction from a non-emotional encounter.

As a general rule I think it’s true that sex invariably leads to an emotional connection.  This is not true 100% of the time for 100% of people but I do think that men AND women link sex and emotions.  Please notice that I’m discussing emotions here, not love.

Women are not fragile creatures so at the mercy of their emotions that they are incapable of being self-aware.  How I wish more women were able to be as honest about their feelings and intentions as Karen Owens.  Believe me, if they were I would have suffered a lot less heartache over the years.

Women who know what they want and are sexually confident are sexy and attractive, but the mainstream media still insists on keeping our sexuality underwraps.  In a culture where men like Glenn Beck can go on screen and suggest that a Meghan McCain wear a burqua its no wonder that we are confused as hell about our sexuality.  You want us to be thin and attractive and perfect but not to express our sexuality in anyway?

I’d say that Karen Owens gives a nice solid FUCK YOU to that notion and I’m proud of her.

The other important element of Owens’ powerpoint is one that I didn’t see myself and don’t think many are acknowledging.  There is an educational aspect here.  Men are expected to know how to have sex but does anyone really teach them?  In the words of my husband “Cunnilingus should be taught along with how to drive.” 

Owens give an extremely honest and instructive critique of her sexual experiances, giving pointers and impressions.  Sometimes the sex was great but the guy was an ass, she knocks off a few points.  In one instance the sex was average but the guy was awesome, he got a nice high score.  This doesn’t mean that they guy with the great personality is all we need though, her honesty about her sexual needs and desires opens a door into the minds of women in a way I think most men have never seen before.

So here’s a news flash guys.  Women like Sex.  We like to feel good.  We like to orgasm.

Another little tidbit, don’t assume that just because we’ll sleep with you we want to marry you or that you’re somehow the most important thing in our universe.  We are capable of separating our hearts and bodies; doesn’t mean we always do but we are capable of it.  I have never been with anyone I didn’t care for and the physical experience has always deepened what I felt for them.  However, I would be hard pressed to claim that everyone I’ve ever been with I loved.

Its astounding that I even feel the need to say this or that Owens is coming under such fire.  Is it the 1930s?  Are you going to institutionalize me for hysteria because I’m sexually confident?  These things happened, but they don’t anymore.  Unless of course you’re still in the dating scene.  In college I was had a fella I was seeing ask if I always had to be “so agressive.”

I broke up with him soon after, wondering what was wrong with a 21 year old college guy who didn’t want me to be good to go. 

So tell me guys, is it so threatening to have a woman know what she wants and go for it?  Is it really so threatening to think that we can use you just as easily as you use us?  I’m not saying anyone should, but why are women the target of so much hatred and anger for being sexual when you are not for engaging in exactly the same behaviors?

And women, please, take off your garter belts and start telling men what you want, how you like it and where to touch.  There’s nothing shameful about knowing yourself.  The idea that we should just lie back and think of the empire is supposed to be antiquated but as soon as someone like Owens points out that her satisfaction matters the world goes mad.

I’m considering ranking all of my lovers…  I think it would be an interesting exercise…  Now, do I name names?