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Modes of Masculinity – How to Write Porn
Alexander Johan Hjalmar Skarsgård http://www.starscolor.com/2479-alexander-skarsgrd/
I’m a sizeist. I know it’s probably not popular to say, but the fact is, I like tall men. I’m 5’1″ and I get off on having a man tower over me. There’s something about wearing a pair of heels and still having to look up that makes me crazy. I want a man I can climb, who can throw me around a little, who I can be as rough as I want to be with. I can’t say shorter men can’t do those things too, but my own internal prejudice says they can’t. I’ve only ever dated one man under 6′.
So what does this have to do with writing porn? It’s important because if I tried to write about a man who was 5’6″ it would be really hard not to keep my own prejudices out of it. I don’t get off on it, so how can I write it? That’s not to say that everything I write is what I like or that all erotica is a kind of personal revelation. It’s not. But erotica is about fantasy and if my fantasy can’t conceive of what I’m writing chances are, the reader won’t either.
So while you’ll see men and women of many colors, races, ethnicities, builds and personalities, chances are you’ll never see a short man in my writing.
Erotica is a genre that requires the author be completely honest with themselves. You can tell bad erotica pretty quickly because when it doesn’t titillate the author, it will read flat. The exposure of the characters in erotica equates with a certain amount of exposure of the author. You don’t have to have participated in BDSM to write it well, but you do have to be honest about your own prejudices and desires in order to keep it sincere. If BDSM turns you off completely and you think it’s perverse, don’t write it, that will shine through.
The quickest way to loose you reader for any genre is to have flat characters who the reader can’t relate to. When writing about the desires of a character you need to pull the reader in and capture their imagination with the fantasy. Those desires have to be deeply felt and charged with sincerity, this means the author also needs to be able to be swept away by the fantasy while writing.
So while Alexander Skarsgård, who towers at 6′ 4″, makes a regular appearance in my personal fantasies, the completely sexy Johnny Galecki (5’5″) just never will.
In my short Consumed By Love, the natural outcome of the sexual desire the two partners share is something that in real life I could never conceive of doing. However, the relationship between the two characters, their bond and desire does strike a chord with me. While that story is written in extremities, the core bond underlying the plot does excite me. This is how I can make it real.
What are your own predilections? Are there things that simply turn you off? Things that you know you are hot for?
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Nice series, Pavarti! While I share your predilection for tall men (my husband is 6’2″), in my fantasies I’m an equal-opportunity kind of gal. Johnny Galecki’s cute, but I am more into the smoldering Latin types like Javier Bardem.
I definitely think that when writing erotica, there has to be a personal touch, even if it’s not about something you’ve personally done. That’s where the research angle of writing comes in, and there are LOTS of fetish and sex-positive communities online that writers interested in the genre should join and learn from, instead of writing more junk like a certain 50 shades of popular.
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50 Shades of Popular? I don’t know that one… OHHH do you mean the published fanfic Master of The Universe?
Thanks for your comment, I agree, research is epically important when writing about something you haven’t personally experienced!
Pavarti K Tyler recently posted…Modes of Masculinity – How to Write Porn
Thanks for this, Pav. Write what you know or wish you knew–that’s some good advice, my dear
What topic’s next?
Emlyn Chand recently posted…More about Farsighted #3 (Pitch) Plus HUGE News & “The Next Big Thing!”
We’ll see what “pops up”
Any requests?
Yes, actually I do! And can you write it today? My request is “dialogue in sex scenes.” Thank you, sugar.
Emlyn Chand recently posted…More about Farsighted #3 (Pitch) Plus HUGE News & “The Next Big Thing!”
Hmm. Well it makes perfect sense for a writer and a reader to write and/or read what they prefer. I don’t think I could read a book about a perfectly nice good looking body builder. Too much muscle
lol I never thought of that before but it makes perfect sense.
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LOL Pavarti, my preference is also taller guys, but you know that the title of my book is “I Was In Love With a Short Man Once,” so I guess that makes me an equal opportunity type of gal.
I dunno that I’ve got a height type – it just happens most of the guys I like are taller than me, unless i’m in heels. I’m not exactly a short-arse myself though. at 5’5″ it’s not difficult to be smaller than the guys around me, but I’ve got such long legs most people don’t actually notice. Everyone thinks I’m tiny till I stand up.
All of my partners have been taller than me, though my soon to be hubby only just scrapes by when I’m in bare feet.
I am however equal opportunity. Benedict Cumberbatch (taller than me) and Martin Freeman (I have my doubts he is), David Tennant (I know he is, we’ve met), James Spader, Chris Meloni….
The thing they *all* share? Expressive eyes and hot hands.
Men that don’t bathe and shave tend to really put me off – arrogance, stupidity, lack of education – means I have to get up close and personal with them most of the time, but that’s ok.
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Now I don’t feel so bad. I can not date a guy who’s not at least 6 inches taller than me. (Not that I’m dating now – but when I was…) I’m 5’5″, so he doesn’t have to be super-tall. I tried dating a couple of guys my own height (one shorter than me) and it just didn’t click. I think with a tall guy, I feel protected.
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Although I agree that, on the whole, it’s blatantly self-defeating to try to write about things that don’t turn you on, I’ve found that some of the best pieces I’ve written explored things that I was not wholly comfortable with.
Attempting to see the erotic in what is not obviously or predictably erotic to me has two, often very successful outcomes. It allows me to write another character which is not me in disguise. It also has resulted in a considerable broadening of what I find erotic.
All that being said, I’ve slept with a man who was almost my size 5’1″ and very thin, and I found it felt vaguely wrong and incestuous. I like my partner’s body to have significant bulk. I even prefer men who are slightly overweight.
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